You are currently viewing Episode 157 – Cleaning Out Your Mental Handbag

Episode 157 – Cleaning Out Your Mental Handbag

You know how sometimes your purse just starts getting really heavy and you’re not sure why? When you go to find your phone you have to dig through gum wrappers, a pair of socks (what?) and all those receipts you don’t even know why you have? All that clutter slows you down and gives you a shoulder ache.

Ya feel me?

Well the same thing happens in our brain. If we’re not paying attention, clutter builds up and every once in a while we need to dump it all out, sort through and start fresh.

Today’s episode is going to teach you how to do just that without any shame or judgment about how it got so messy in the first place.

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Music by ZingDog on Pond5


You know how sometimes your purse just starts getting really, really heavy, and you’re not sure why? And when you go to find your phone, you have to dig through, like, gum wrappers, a couple pairs of socks. What are those doing in there? And all those receipts, you don’t even know why you have them. All that clutter slows you down and gives you a shoulder ache.

Do you feel me? Well, the same thing happens in our brain. If we’re not paying attention, clutter builds up and every once in a while we need to dump it all out, sort it through, and start fresh. Today’s episode is going to teach you how to do just that without any shame or judgment about how it got so messy in the first place.

Before we dive in, I need to tell you about something you are going to love. I’ve noticed over the past few years, this really exhausted energy coming from almost everyone. We came out of the pandemic weary, and I’m not sure we really figured out how to go on, how to move on. We’re trying to do what we did before with the hustle and the busyness and it’s.

It’s really not working. We’re not listening to our bodies and what the earth is telling us. We’re tired and we don’t know why. And then we feel terrible about how tired we are. But nothing is wrong with you. You’ve just been listening to the wrong voices. You don’t need more. You need less. You don’t need louder.

You need quiet. You don’t need to grind. You need comfort. You don’t need to push big goals. You need rest. That’s why I’ve created The Cozy Place. It’s a BabyLoss support group like you’ve never experienced. It’s a place where you don’t have to explain yourself. Everyone understands you. It’s a place where you will learn how to reach within yourself and figure out how you want to live now.

You will make lifelong connections here. Oh my gosh, don’t we just all crave that right now? You will be guided by me to be more confident and peaceful. I’ll be with you step by step. Coming into the cozy place will change your life. It’s the best gift you can give yourself. I wanted this to be accessible to everyone, so I kept the price really reasonable.

It’s only 200 to stay in the cozy place all of January and February. You can pay in full or split it into two payments. And honestly, if cost is a factor, just reach out to me. I have a few scholarships available. I truly want anyone who wants to be with us in January and February to be able to come.

These are often dark months where you are exhausted from the holidays. Who’s exhausted pre holidays? Uh, and everyone is telling you to lose weight and do more, plus fix all your flaws. So we buy all the organizational bins and baskets and the labels and the gym is overflowing. And inside It just feels so hollow, but not this year, not for you.

Come with me. I’m going to show you a different way to nestle in, rest, and rejuvenate yourself to start the new year with peace, kindness, and purpose. If you want to learn more, or you’re ready to sign up, go to smoothstonescoaching. com forward slash cozy. That’s C O Z Y. Everything will be there for you, but you can always reach out to me.

iF you have any questions, but I would really personally like to invite you. If you haven’t experienced coaching, if you haven’t come and worked with me, you need to come. If you have, and you’re one of my clients. Come on in. It’s gonna be amazing. This is gonna be really really unique friends Like I am super excited about it.

I just kept thinking and thinking what what can I do? How can I help people and I had all these ideas and then I was like, you know what this is what we need We need to slow down. We need to rest. We need warmth. We need a cozy place So come with me Now today’s episode is inspired by true events I have a lot of living kids, so I jumped right on the backpack purse trend when it came around again.

I have this big brown leather purse and I have everything in it. I’ve got pads, I’ve got band aids, I’ve got snacks, and chapstick, and sunglasses, and a small journal, because you never know when you’re going to need to journal or, or write a note. I’ve got pens, um, Like all the essentials and then some. I try to clean it out pretty often, but, um, the past few weeks I have been noticing that my purse was just getting heavier and heavier.

I recently was sick and I coughed so much. And so hard that I actually hurt my neck and I couldn’t carry this heavy purse anymore. So I finally just went to the kitchen table and dumped it out. I was a little shocked with what I found. Of course, each item on its own isn’t a big deal. It’s not that heavy, but added together Oh my goodness.

It was a lot. I had the normal stuff, but then I had, like I said, uh, two extra pairs of socks. I had two checkbooks, like who even uses checkbooks? I had two. Uh, I had old receipts and wrappers and all sorts of things. Didn’t even belong to me that somehow I just stuck in my purse. I also had some Christmas presents that had been hidden in there last weekend when we went to the mall.

And one of the best things I found was this mint from a restaurant that I went to. I went to a coaching event in Salt Lake city and we all met up for dinner. I had a mint now I’ve cleaned up my purse. That was probably a couple of years ago. I have cleaned up my purse since then, but when I just turned it over and dumped it out, it was still in there.

It was still taking up space and it was still adding just a little bit of weight to my purse. Now, I want you to envision your purse right now, or if your purse is looking good, maybe your junk drawer or your car console, any place that you know that stuff builds up and gets really cluttery. Even the most organized person Here has something there somewhere.

What really struck me as I unpacked, cleaned and threw away so much stuff was how long I’d been just letting it be this way when I didn’t have to. I just kept putting off tidying up. Why do we do that? Why do we procrastinate? Well, it’s because we think it’s going to take a lot of energy to clean it out.

So we just continue carrying the weight. But you know what takes more energy than cleaning out your purse? Not cleaning out your purse. This is just like our minds. We have memories and beliefs and all kinds of thoughts in there, but things often start building up. We keep thoughts that no longer serve us.

We have thoughts that are, honestly, if I’m blunt, just garbage thoughts. And I am cool with you just calling them garbage thoughts. I don’t want you to judge yourself, but you know what I mean. There’s those thoughts that just rattle around in there. They’re not doing anything for us. They’re garbage. The clutter in our brain makes it harder to find the thoughts we want when we need them.

Kind of like that chapstick I know is in my purse, but I can never find it right when I need it. We have unintentional thoughts. These are the thoughts we just pick up along the way and keep as truth. The default thoughts that happen without much effort on our part. They’re kind of coming from this lower part of our brain.

And then we have intentional thoughts that we choose on purpose to think. These are coming from our higher brain. These can be new ways we want to think to change or to better our lives. Both kinds of thoughts are there for a reason. But as we talk about cleaning out the mental clutter, I want you to notice where you are operating from most of the time.

What thoughts are cluttering up your brain? Let’s quickly identify just one clutter thought that you know needs to go. It’s that gum wrapper or that smoosh granola bar that you packed for a flight that you took two years ago and it’s still in there. What is one thought? Say it out loud to yourself if you can, or write it down.

Often we’re very familiar with these thoughts because they play on repeat. Now ask yourself the question. Who would I be without this thought? This is always a great question. It comes from Byron Katie, but it’s a great question, especially when you’re feeling stuck. And as we’re decluttering our minds and our mental purse, our mental handbag, it’s a really helpful question.

Often we want to do thought work and change our thoughts to something better. And so we do a lot of work of like, what intentional thought could I think? How could I think differently about this? The simplest way to what we want is sometimes just to stop thinking the thought. For example, this month we are going to Disneyland as a family.

All the other times we have gone we have purposely chosen off season dates in the middle of the week So we don’t have to deal with long lines and crowds and all that comes with that this time just because of schedules We are going at probably one of the busiest times of the year and I previously had the thought Disneyland isn’t fun when it’s crowded.

Now That thought isn’t going to serve me when we go. I have actively been working to let go of this thought. Who would I be if I didn’t think this way? I would be someone who could go and have an awesome time with my family no matter what. And you know what? I could be totally wrong. There are downsides to going in the off season as well.

It could be just as fun, or funner, in December with big crowds. I get to make this trip what I want. So if I could drop the thought that I’ve had most of my life, I open up to so many more possibilities and I’ll feel lighter, just like taking junk out of my purse. Are you catching on now? This can be really fun to do.

Play with it. Be curious. It’s totally normal to build up a bunch of unintentional cluttery thoughts. This isn’t bad. I really want to stress that this isn’t about you doing anything wrong. We often have a lot of shame around the clutter in our home, in our handbags, and maybe in your brain once you learn that you can choose your thoughts, but you don’t need to judge yourself.

And it’s pretty likely that that some of those old patterns will sneak back in and you’ll just have to declutter them again. That’s okay. Just like I might have some thoughts when I see the ride wait times at Disneyland, but I can simply take a breath and redirect. I can have a plan for enjoying the lines.

It can still be magical. So my challenge to you is to just take a few moments and do this. Don’t procrastinate this and let everything get heavier. Just pull out some obvious, easy to spot clutter thoughts and throw them away. Do this on a regular basis or do this on an irregular basis. I’m not going to say do this once a month or once a week or once a year.

Because some people just don’t operate like that. If that works for you, put it in your calendar. Whatever works for you. But there’s no right or wrong way to do this. I just want you to try it because it is really beneficial and even as we talk about, you know, grief thoughts or things that we’re struggling with that are real, they’re with us.

If we just practice letting go of these cluttery thoughts, cleaning out our brain and giving ourselves a space, we’re gonna feel so much better. The benefits of decluttering your brain are you get to feel lighter. You have so much more space in your mind. You have renewed energy and you feel powerful because you are.

You are not your thoughts. You are a human being figuring this whole thing out. So be kind to yourself and clear out some clutter as a gift to you. Again, not because there’s something wrong with you. It’s so easy. Like we’re so programmed to want to fix our flaws, but this isn’t a flaw, but there is a way that can feel a little bit better is like being a little bit more intentional, clearing out these clutter thoughts and then moving forward with your life.

And it’s always helpful to have a plan on how you’re going to keep it decluttered. So that is where coaching comes in. The best thing I’ve got going right now, coming up is the Cozy Place. Don’t forget to come join us. I’m going to do some mental decluttering with you in there. And we’re going to replace the thoughts that are weighing you down with ones that ground you in warmth and comfort.

And it is going to be amazing. You don’t want to wait. We’re going to start right away in the new year. So come to the Cozy Place. I’ll see you next time.

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