Today we are talking about goals.
Not just making them, but doable steps to achieving them.
I love this method because it cuts out the part where our brain stops us from getting what we want.
This is exactly how the brain is supposed to act. It wants to keep us safe and warm and it wants to expend the least amount of energy it can. That worked well for survival when we lived in caves.
But now we want to do things that may be a challenge. There’s another part of us that longs to create, to grow, to push ourselves just to see what we can accomplish.
If you’re feeling that tug, in a big way or small, this is for you, girl!
Here’s what usually happens. We have a goal in mind but we get bogged down in the “how” of it all. We get stuck in the things we don’t know, and the reasons why we can’t do it. Most of us trade what feels good in the moment, for what will feel best in the long run.
For example….you want to run a race. You know the long term benefits and you are dedicated to that goal and the training. But your alarm goes off at 5am and it’s chilly and staying in bed just seems like such a better plan. You trade what feels good in the moment, for the true joy of accomplishing your goal, and all the mental and physical health benefits that go along with it.
And then there are some of you who are go-getters. Busy. Doers. You are always working but still not getting to your true goal because all the other things get in the way.
No matter what keeps you from your big dream, or even completing small tasks day to day, this method is going to be so helpful for you.
First, Identify the goal. If you are familiar with the Model, you can put ANYTHING you want in the result line. This is your goal. Remember it is about you.
Then we go backwards up the steps. What actions would you need to take to get that result?
What would you need to feel to take those actions?
Be careful on this one. Sometimes we think it’s motivated. We think motivation sort of happens to us. But motivation doesn’t always get us there when things get tough. We’ve all had that start strong and then “lose motivation” experience. I like to use committed. But as always, the one that works for you will be your own. Motivated is great if you choose purposefully to create that feeling.
All feelings come from thoughts, so the next step is finding a thought that causes you to feel the feeling you picked. Make sure it is something you believe.
And your circumstance can be yourself. Or your goal in a neutral way.
I’ll give you an example that I am working on.
Result: I record 10 podcast episodes and publish Episode 1 on October 11, 2019
Actions: get microphone, write outlines, block out time, research how to edit and publish podcasts, sign up for host, create page on my website, record, edit, publish.
Thought: A podcast is such a great way to help my baby loss mommas!
After you have your model, you make a detailed list of all the things you have to do, step by step.
-read outline into the microphone
-block out time
-research for each topic
Create page on my website
-create a new page
-add new page to menu
-figure out RSS to itunes
-best plug ins
-make sure podcast works on website
-make it look good
Now that you have your list, this is where you start looking for obstacles. For each task, let your brain come up with reasons why this won’t work. Do it deliberately.
Some of mine are: It’s never quiet here. I’m going to mess up and have to start over. I take forever to edit audio, I don’t have time to write podcast outlines I am already so busy! Someone is always interrupting me. I don’t love hearing my voice recorded, I will be judging myself, etc.
Look at all your mind creates. It’s an amazing thing! But you don’t have to listen to it. For each obstacle, choose a strategy that will help overcome it. Remember that YOU have all the answers. Lean into your own wisdom instead of over researching or asking advice or help. You can totally figure out anything you need to do.
A really important one is if you have feelings as obstacles, like “this is scary” or “I am nervous” just remember that being uncomfortable is the currency to our dreams. It’s for sure going to get uncomfortable along the way. You for sure will fail. Expect it. In fact, look forward to it. Don’t judge yourself. Just keep going. Be willing to feel any emotion! Be willing to be terrible at first.
Don’t let it stop you.
The last step is to actually put your tasks on the calendar. If it’s something you are not sure how long it will take, you decide. Give yourself a certain amount of time and then make a choice and move forward. Or finish the task even if it isn’t perfect.
Keep the appointments you made to yourself! You are the CEO of your own life. You wouldn’t make excuses or flake out on a friend or your boss, don’t do it to you.
Now, I know this looks like a lot, but it works. Don’t be afraid to jump in and try it! Make your decisions ahead of time and getting out of bed on that cold morning might not get easier, but you are going to find a way to do it. Because you have your thought and your feeling to keep you going even when you don’t want to. And when you mess up, you know that it’s ok, and you still keep going. Then you get to smash your goal.
It’s going to be so fun!