This week I want to share a message of hope that will help you move forward as a mom to all your children.
I will also be reading the names of your babies as submitted on Instagram and the lessons they have taught you.
It’s one of my most favorite episodes ever.
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Music provided by ZingDog / Pond5
Welcome. Thank you all so much for joining me for a special episode, honoring Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. If this is your first time listening, let me introduce myself.
I am Amy Watson and I’m a life coach. What that means is I can help you create the life you want, even without all your babies in your arms by showing you a different way of thinking about your life. If you are struggling to function, or your grief is very, very heavy right now, a therapist or a medical doctor would probably be the best fit for you.
But if you feel like you’re handling life, Okay, but you just want it to be better. Or if you’ve hit a wall in therapy and it’s not really helping you in the way you want, and you’re ready for some help moving forward and seeing the possibilities in your life, then I am your girl. I have experienced stillbirth and miscarriage, and I have had three pregnancies after loss.
So I get what you’re going through, but I am also gonna challenge you so you can change the way you’re looking at your life. We’re often way too close to our own stuff to really see what’s going on. That’s why I think everyone needs a life coach. Just like you can get 10 times better, faster results with a trainer for your body, a coach for your mind will transform your mental health.
I asked on Instagram for people to share their baby’s names and something their baby taught them. You all submitted the most beautiful lessons and names. I apologize in advance if I mispronounce your child’s name. Before I read this list, I wanted to share a short message of hope with you. If you are here and you are listening, you have had to say goodbye to one or more of your children.
You have sat in your bathroom or a hospital room or an emergency room and felt the shock and the heartbreak of knowing you will never see them grow up and do all the things you dreamed they would do for that. I am so very sorry. Their earthly journey was very brief, and yet you are still here and you’ve probably been through moments where you wished you could have gone with them or gone instead of them.
There were times you didn’t think you could survive something like this, but you did. So I want you to give yourself a big hug for that because no matter what stage of grief you are in, you are doing a great job now. I mean it. It’s so easy for us as women, as moms, and as moms of angels, to focus on our flaws, to hate our bodies for failing us and our babies.
To wish we would’ve done so many things differently if we could go back to wish we knew more or had been more prepared. So easy to beat ourselves up for not parenting our living children the way we want to on the days that our emotions are high or our physical strength is low, to wish we could be who we used to be.
But I want to tell you that you are amazing and you are worthy exactly as you are, and you are strong. What matters most is what you think about you, the world and the people around us may not acknowledge your loss the way you wish they would. They may not see all your children. They may not understand you, but you can.
You can acknowledge your own loss and what you’ve been through, and be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. You can be confident in your love for all your children, whether you talk about them or not. You can do the work to understand yourself, so you can understand others in a way you never could have before this experience.
When we look to the world outside of us to make us feel something, we are often left powerless and disappointed and frustrated and hurt, but when we look inside and we have compassion for ourselves, that’s when we can start feeling better, not because the world outside of us is different, but because we are different.
So I wanna tell you that your grief is valid. It doesn’t matter when your loss happened or how it happened, whether you are still crying a lot, or you feel like you have put everything behind you, or if you’re in any stage in between, your grief is your own. Your baby matters whether you shout it from the rooftops or keep her in your heart.
No matter how much time you had with him or what mementos you have to hold onto, no matter what other people say, your baby lived and died and they count. Mama, you are in charge of your own healing. It doesn’t mean you forget anything. And it doesn’t mean that after the healing we don’t have permanent scars.
But someday those scars will become loving reminders instead of painful triggers. It’s possible, but it doesn’t just happen. You have to decide that you are ready for it. And the last message of hope I want to give to you is this. It’s possible that life after loss can be even better than life before, but how can that be?
Our babies are not with us. I know that and I understand, but we only get this one life. Bad things are gonna happen and we get to choose what we do with it. Before I lost my babies, I used to care a lot about what other people thought. I used to say yes to things I didn’t want to do, and then be mad about it after I didn’t understand so fully what a miracle every human being on this planet is.
I didn’t know intimately what grief felt like so I could help lift another. I didn’t get to have two babies in heaven that I get to look forward to meeting and holding someday. My faith is stronger and even more important to me now. I see life through wiser eyes than I did before. I choose to look forward always bringing my babies with me, but allowing myself to fully experience everything that being a human has to offer.
The good, the bad, and the ugly. And you can do that too if you want to. Your life may be split into a before and an after, but I wanna offer to you that the after this moment right now that you are living is still beautiful and you are still whole and worthy. And you are a great mother to all your babies.
Let’s honor them now. Jordan. Neil Smith, baby George lost, shattered me, but taught me to pick up the pieces and rearrange them into a better version of myself. My angel baby doesn’t have a name, but his loss taught me how to have hard conversations and has inspired me to focus on teaching my three rainbow babies, his surviving twin.
And then two more. How to embrace sad things with love and compassion. Gracie Juniper. I have one unnamed baby, and then Gabriel, who we lost at 16 weeks, about a year ago now. They have taught me that ultimately I can’t always be in control of everything. As hard as it is, Brandon and Brielle, they have taught me that I’m a mother and to continue to share their lives and stories.
Gabriel Isaiah, who we lost at 36 weeks dj, he’s taught me to cherish each moment. And not to be afraid to share my story. Zachary William, he taught me that perspective is absolutely everything and that my story will inspire others. Alex Rodriguez Corral, she taught me compassion and a million other things.
My angel baby’s name is Sophie Claire. She has taught me the depth of a mother’s love, that grief and joy can coexist and that I can do hard things. Neither of our angels have names, but their lives mattered. My son is Christopher Charles, born still. He taught me love, has no bounds, and to be thankful and grateful for every moment we have Jackson.
He has taught me a deeper empathy for others and a love that will last forever. Tyler David Millar Esda. He taught me that love. He’s unconditional and although I can no longer see him, he is always with me. My angel baby’s name is Riker. He was stillborn at 35 weeks. He has taught me many things to be strong, to be vulnerable, and that it’s okay to not be okay.
He’s taught me that sharing my story will not only help me with each passing day, but it will also help others. My angel baby is Liam Nico. He taught me so much love and to cherish each moment like it was my last. He brought all my family together, and since then we have always been so, so close to each other, especially with my mom and sisters, Ava Sophia Dillard.
She’s taught me to never take anything for granted and always enjoy even the smallest, but most beautiful things in life. My son Luke Williamson, taught me how deep a mother’s love is. I wish I could have shown him. Instead, my baby boy’s name is you real. He has taught me to appreciate every moment, no matter how small.
Marin Salinas DeMars. She’s taught me to never hold back a kind thought or deeded, never hold back from sharing happiness because you are unsure of how they will be received because so many are grieving in some way. Rivers, Ellen has taught us all so much. She’s taught me how to give up control and sometimes there’s no silver lining.
None of my babies had names, but they taught me resiliency. I have three angel babies. None had names, and it has taught me to be open about my journey because others need the openness to not feel alone. I have two angel babies. I never gave them a name, and it makes me sad that I haven’t, but I think it was just early in their pregnancy, so I never even knew what gender they were.
But sunflowers, help me remember them, and sunflowers have become my favorite flower. I just love how sunflowers grow in the middle of weeds. They resemble beauty amongst the ugly and to me that is what my angels have done for me. They have brought beauty to my life, even among the ugly and the pain. My angel baby girl’s name is Indie Ann Taylor.
She has given my family and I so much love and strength. India has shown me how precious life is and that I need to focus on what really matters family. Losing Indie was the hardest time of my life, but she is always sending me those tender mercies to let me know she is there. I know that I need to continue to do my best every day so I can receive those blessings from her.
Everett, he taught me to appreciate small moments. My angel baby Albert, was 38 weeks, six pounds, five ounces. He has taught me to be more present in the moment and to enjoy every bit of life because it’s truly a miracle. We never officially named our Angel baby, but we call them a This sweet baby was the twin A in my current pregnancy that we unfortunately lost a couple months ago.
Especially as we get closer to delivery Day of a sister A has really taught me that it’s okay to feel more than one emotion at a time. As a mother, I am able to feel sadness and other tough feelings while still feeling grateful and happy, even though it really has never felt natural until lately. I.
This has made me be able to look at many situations in more than one way at a time, Carter Moore, I learned what love really is. Audrey was 35 weeks, four pounds, six ounces of perfect. She taught me what really matters in life and to love right now because that’s all we really have. Paloma Preston Whitten, he taught me that love knows no bounds the.
Letha, Noah, Ezekiel. God has been teaching me through Noah’s life and death that grief and lament is biblical. God wants to hear our sorrows and heartbreak. I’ve also been learning how to experience joy and grief at the same time. Bennett taught me the power of love, Isabelle Grace. She taught me how to stand up for myself and find my voice through advocating for her.
Gibson Taylor Swenson passed away at seven days old because his mission was complete. He has taught me so much of heaven and how much love you can have for others and how to be empathetic towards others. He is with me always in passing butterflies and rainbows, and the sun rising in setting. James Robeson taught me to surrender everything to Christ Jordan Big Heart.
O’Neill. Annie and Tanner Hail Annie taught me about love and serving others. Tanner taught me about how to love myself. I’m sure there’s more to learn from him as I continue to heal Hadley. She taught me to slow down and appreciate the time I’m given with others. Little Eddie iii. Little Eddie has given me a new meaning to what life looks like.
He’s given me wisdom and strength. Our angel baby’s name is Leah Irene. She taught us that life is so short and that we have to always enjoy every second of it. Despite all the hardships and difficulties that we might face in this life, she also taught my husband and I that together as a family, we can do all things through our savior Jesus Christ, and that one day we will be reunited as one family.
My gorgeous girl’s name is Jessica Jean, and she has taught me how to be fiercely brave in life. Keeps striving towards my goals no matter how it may end, because if we don’t take chances, we’ll only regret them in the end. Clay, he taught me a love I didn’t know was possible, and you never know what’s around the corner.
So try and find even a small slice of happiness in each day. Milo, June. He has taught me how to endure things that are hard. He had a lot of hard things happen in his short life, and he has inspired me to endure hard things. Well, I have three angels in heaven, all lost before they were born. Keller, Ellis, and Reese, they taught me that I am enough and that I’m a mother.
We all are, even though I don’t have children, earth side. Liam led me to my purpose and taught me to live out my truth. My sweet daughter, Clementine Snow born still. She made me a better mom, a deeper, more compassionate human, and showed me that the deepest grief can live alongside true joy. Even death cannot keep me from knowing her and parenting her and loving her name is Clara.
Through the whole process, I’ve learned that the compassionate choice is not necessarily the easy one. Hadley Janae Sanders. She gave me purpose and taught me to be unapologetically myself. Genesis Dawn taught me how no one can take my motherhood away from me. Ronan Jean Rolly, he was the baby of our miracle triplets.
Through losing him, we have learned just how important people and memories are. We have been taught to slow down and enjoy the moment we’re in. He has given us strength to keep going. And the desire to be good so we can be reunited with him again. Claire, my firstborn, was a little fighter. She fought till her last breath.
Doctor said she wasn’t vi viable, but she lived a short life, but meaningful. I thank the Lord for the opportunity to have her. Violet was a beautiful, sweet girl. She didn’t suffer long and left this world as quickly as she arrived. Her beauty. Shine and soften the heart. Hardest heart. She was perfect in every single way, both inside and out.
Can’t wait to hold her in my arms again. Cadence Elise, she taught me that I am stronger than I know and to cherish every day. Steven, he taught me what it feels like to be a mom. Little cow and little unicorn taught me about selfless love and humbled me so much, Claire Hope. It taught me that life is a miracle.
Grief is love, and Jesus is real. Baby Bella, I learned to love more baby Luke. He taught me that life is precious and to make the most out of every day. Valentina, where to start? My daughter, the most precious little girl ever has taught me so much about love, unconditional love to love myself harder, especially on my worst days.
To give and spread love to this world in honor of her to love deeper, understand better, forgive often to be more gentle on myself, to be more compassionate. Skye has taught me what the most important things in life are. Rowan Kai, I’ve learned that nothing is more important than loving his brothers and sisters.
Miguel, Ulysses Cruz Acosta. Nickname Psen to be strong, that even though I suffer his loss, he is in heaven with God protecting us all. ESMI taught me to try to never take all the blessings in my life for granted. My angel baby’s name is Morgan. He or she taught me that the importance of taking every moment and living it to the fullest.
My sweet twins, Camden and Chloe were born at 23 weeks and lived for an hour, the most wonderful hour of our lives. They taught me to never give up and fight till the end because that’s what they did, fought as long as they could. Angel, Hayden, Ruth, Layla, Michelle Cadence. She taught me to be grateful for all the small things in life she taught me to be strong.
Pay suck. Lauren and River Watson and so, so many other babies. I, I am so grateful to be able to read those things. I really appreciate those lessons you guys shared. You are all so amazing, and I know that sharing your babies and the things that you’ve learned are really gonna touch. Some people tonight, so I again, am just so grateful.
I wanna thank you for joining me and for being willing to share. If you are struggling right now with how you’re feeling, whether it’s grieving, wanting to try again, being pregnant after loss, dealing with relationships, or just handling 2020, I can help. And the best part is you don’t have to explain it all.
I get it. I’ve been where you are. There’s no judgment from me, just someone who understands not only baby loss, but how our brains work and why it’s so hard to make changes on our own. What if you didn’t have to wait to start feeling better? What if you finally decided to take care of you instead of everyone else?
This might just be one of the best decisions you ever make. Click the link in the show notes or go to smooth zones coaching.com to sign up for a free consult call. I’m sending you guys so much love tonight and I’m remembering your babies with you, and I wish I could hug you all in person, but hopefully someday we can do that.
I would really love to do something in person in the. Near future. So let’s all keep hoping and praying and looking forward to that. But until then, hang in there. You’re amazing and have a wonderful week. I’ll see you next time.