Are you like 99% of people I know who get really excited about new projects, habits and goals and then find yourself a few weeks later back where you started because motivation has seemed to evaporate?
On this week’s episode I’m talking all about motivation, where it comes from and how to keep it for the long haul.
Even if you’re grieving.
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Music by ZingDog on Pond5
Hey, welcome. I am so excited you’re here. I know I say that every time, but I really, really am. I love being able to talk to you and teach you things and connect with you, and I have an amazing opportunity. This October, in just two weeks, we are going to be doing group coaching. Now this is like the support group you never had.
It’s got that element of meeting other moms who get it, but I’ll be leading it and we’ll be doing lots and lots of coaching. Why is this so awesome? Is you get help with your specific problems. I’ll make sure everyone gets a turn and then you get to watch other people being coached, which is so helpful because sometimes it’s easier to see what’s happening when it’s someone else’s brain.
I want you to feel super comfortable so you can be as anonymous as you want, camera or no camera, but I will encourage you to take your turn getting help. It’s a beautiful thing to say yes to you, and it’s only $99, which is so worth it. All angel moms. Are welcome. So just go to smooth stones coaching.com/october group coaching to get more details and to sign up, and I will have a link in the show notes.
You can just click on the podcast, scroll down, and it’ll be right there. Super easy. All right, today’s topic. If I could wave a magic wand and give you an extra boost of motivation today, what would you do with it? Really think about it. There’s probably something that just jumps into your mind, so. Hang on to that and just keep it in mind as you listen to today’s e episode.
I’m actually gonna keep this episode really short on purpose because listening to a podcast is what I call passive action. It’s one of the ways we feel like we’re doing something, but actually we’re not getting out there and doing the real thing. So I wanna help you take massive action, which is what actually moves the needle.
So first, let’s talk about where motivation comes from. A lot of people think it just appears by magic or like we can find it somewhere, which also means we can lose it. I think you’ve probably sat down on the couch knowing that there are so many things on your to-do list, but you just air quotes. Don’t feel motivated or you’ve told someone your big idea and they go and get practical and realistic on you telling you all the reasons it’s not gonna work, and you feel that motivation slip away.
But hey, do you know where that motivation comes from your brain and you know, who’s the boss of your brain? It’s, you see, you don’t lose motivation because of the comfy couch calling to you or because of what people say or because you’re not seeing results right away. You stop feeling motivated because you stop thinking thoughts that create motivation, but you might not notice them.
That’s why you have to be aware of what your brain is doing. The brain on default has three main jobs. Seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy. And those serve us really well for survival, but not so much for reaching our goals. So we want to get out of the default lower brain and use our prefrontal cortex to override those patterns.
The higher brain helps us out of our old ruts, and we can actually blaze new trails, which if we keep at it long enough, will become much easier to navigate. What this means, which is great news, is that you can create motivation anytime you want, just by thinking thoughts that create it. But here’s the catch.
You have to believe the thoughts. So no cliched mantras allowed. I want you to ask yourself these questions. What do you want? Why do you want it? When you ask yourself, what do you want? I want you to make it really clear and measurable. If you can be as specific as you can, pick a date, you wanna be done by all of those things, and then why do you want it?
Focus on your why. I want you to make sure it’s truly aligned with your heart. For example, if you are trying to get healthier because your significant other told you you need to or he’ll dump you, that’s gonna give you some short term fear-based motivation. But it’s not a very good why and it doesn’t feel right.
So in the end, it’s probably not gonna work. And sometimes your why is gonna be as simple as I want to. That’s a good enough reason. In fact, I think it’s a great reason and one that women don’t use enough. Yes, you can actually do things just because you want to. You don’t have to justify or rationalize why it’s okay.
You don’t have to make sure that everybody else’s wants and needs are taken care of before you do. You can just own it. So write down your goal, then write down your compelling aligned why, and that will create motivation for you. Now, what are you gonna do with it? What actions do you need to take that will actually get you closer to your goal?
Like I said before, watch out for passive action, and this is where you are reading, researching, asking friends for advice, et cetera, and move into massive action. Now I have to warn you, massive action often feels like vomiting. It’s the scary part. It’s the fear of rejection. It’s the fear of failure, the fear that you’re not enough.
All of that will come up. Well, this is a good sign. It means you’re moving forward as you feel these emotions come up. Just know that they’re normal. It’s your brain trying to do its thing and keep you on the comfy couch, but you’ve got big things to do. So shush your brain and keep going. You’re never behind.
You can’t fall off the wagon. Just keep going. Look, motivation is good, but commitment is better. Motivation is kind of that shiny thing we all want. The Golden trophy, the celebration pick at the finish line, the roar of applause. Motivation is a great start. It gets us going. It makes us believe our dreams are possible, and I love it for that.
But what really keeps us going is a little less flashy and it looks a lot more like practicing a routine a thousand times, wanting to quit at mile 17 and throwing up from stage fright, but still getting out there anyway. You see, commitment is what keeps us going. It keeps us becoming, and it helps us overcome on the days where it hurts and you just wanna give up, commitment is what you need.
The feeling of commitment comes from our thoughts as well. Thoughts like, I’m not giving up. I can handle any emotion. I am becoming a person who dot, dot, dot. And you fill in the blanks. I’m becoming a person who, what? What was your goal? This is the part where I feel like throwing up and that’s okay. This isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon.
And one of my favorites that really keeps me going on the hard days is, the only way I fail is if I quit. I don’t care what you’ve been able to do in your past. It’s all irrelevant. Start today and practice creating motivation. Try on different thoughts and see which ones feel good. You may even surprise yourself with the thoughts that create motivation for you.
Then remember that commitment and grit are the things that will keep you going because any good goal is going to stretch us, but it’s so worth doing. If you have a goal you wanna accomplish in October, there’s no better place to be than inside my October group. Come on in there, tell us what you wanna do, and I’m gonna help you get there.
There’s a link in the show notes or go to smooth stones coaching.com/october group coaching. I’ll see you next time.