Let’s talk about confusion.
It’s another indulgent emotion, which means it is never necessary. It will always keep us from moving forward. It is a sneaky one because it tricks us into thinking we are safer when we are confused. We stay in the cave and wait for some sort of sign that it’s safe to come out.
Confusion keeps us stuck.
The reason we often indulge in confusion is because we have a belief that there is a right choice. There is a right way. And there are wrong choices and wrong ways.
And since we are always wanting to feel something, we think that if we pick the right way we will be happy and successful, but the wrong way we will feel those negative emotions we want to avoid.
But what if there wasn’t a right choice?
The truth is, we get to decide what we think. You can decide that you will always make the right choice. And possibly that choice leads you to fail, and that’s ok. Every success is built on a pile of failures.
You can choose to believe that you have the wisdom within you to answer any question and solve any problem. And you really do. I believe it for you. Each one of us has everything we need to navigate this life.
In our information age a really common example of indulging in confusion is over researching. Maybe it’s something as simple as online shopping a new piece of furniture, or something that seems more serious like looking at the risks of having another baby.
We read all the reviews, we compare the prices, the shipping times, we fret about the colors not being quite right and maybe the dimensions won’t fit. I know people who are paralyzed by decisions like this. But you do not have to be. Of course we want to make informed decisions, but when we spend so much time and energy on choices like this, it can really take away from what we really want.
I remember a professor in a university business class I had saying you could research all the stocks, or you could throw a dart at a list and pick that way, you really never know what is going to happen over the long term.
With decisions that seem more heavy, the exact same principle applies. Like whether you should have another baby. Because whether or not you try again does not determine your happiness. Your thoughts do. And you get to choose any thought you want.
But I know it can be hard. If you are facing a decision that is confusing and overwhelming, remember that you do not have to see the ending to start taking steps. We want to see the big picture and the ending all wrapped up in a bow but that’s not how things work. We have to just start moving. Make one small choice. Then another. Walk into the dark and the path will begin to light before you.
I can tell you from my own experience this is true. After we lost Lauren, I decided that I wasn’t going to add more confusion to my life as far as another baby. I knew I wanted one, and I let go from there. And each step that came after that, I handled it.
So what if you pick the wrong color of tile? You’ll deal with it.
So what if you pick a college major and have to change it later? It’s the exact path for you.
So what if you end up with a doctor who isn’t the best? I have no doubt, girl, you will handle that.
You can decide now to stop indulging in confusion. It’s not getting you anywhere. I guarantee you have one area, big or small in your life where you are allowing confusion to create a road block.
What would it look like if you just made a decision and went all in?
Try it, momma.
And if you want help walking through it, send me a message here.