So I want to preface this episode by saying. If you don’t believe in God, like I named this A God of Miracles on purpose because that’s what it’s about, but if you don’t believe in God, I want you to take this episode and listen anyway. Uh, if you’re not seeing miracles in your life right now, I want you to listen anyway, because I promise if you listen and open up, you will get the answers you are looking for.

I purposely want this podcast and like my business, all of it to be very, very inclusive of All beliefs. I also want it to be a place where I am able to share my beliefs, which are a huge part of who I am and how I look at things, especially grief. I think anytime you’re talking about life and death, there’s going to be questions about it.

Your beliefs and it kind of those existential human questions like why am I here? Why is this happening? Where am I going after I die? And so this is a place where we explore that and exploring is a beautiful thing Opening up is a beautiful thing and I really encourage you to do that And I really thank you for being here and for opening up to this and I hope that for some of you listening this is exactly what you’ve needed because I don’t believe in coincidences.

So if you’ve been brought here to this podcast, to this particular episode, take it as a little miracle. Um, because I, I have definitely had times in my life where like a certain quote, or somebody said something, or somebody sent a song or a podcast episode or anything where it was like, that is exactly what I needed.

And I love that so much. So I hope that this is that for you and we are going to dive right in. I do just want to say really quickly. I do have a couple of spots open for one on one coaching Starting this month coming up in february And I want you to reach out. You can email me at amy.

smoothstonescoaching. com or go to smoothstonescoaching. com. There’s a big button in the corner that says get support. It’s going to explain everything. Go over there, come and talk to me. Um, I would love to help you in your life after loss journey or your pregnancy after loss journey. For a lot of people who experience grief, for whatever reason, our relationship with God can be put in the, like, quote unquote, it’s complicated.

I don’t know if everyone listening was, does Facebook still do this? It used to, when it first started, it had relationship status, and one of them was, it’s complicated. And I think that has just stuck. I recently just did a poll on my Instagram stories, and two thirds of the people responded. With it’s complicated when I ask them, how is your relationship with the big man right now?

And I think that’s really telling and, uh, really. It’s kind of what I would have predicted. There were some people who were doing well, some people who maybe aren’t into God, have different beliefs, a different way. But most people said it’s complicated. And I, like I said before, I’m not here to tell you what to believe.

I just want to open up a conversation, share my beliefs and what has helped me so you get an opportunity to explore your beliefs and how they are affecting your experience. Uh, that’s the thing, like we We grow up with certain beliefs. We, we evolve, we change, we take in different things. We throw out other things and really it’s always just a process.

It’s a lifelong process figuring out our faith. So you cannot mess this up. But seeing the ways other people believe, I think can be really inspiring. That’s why I love talking to people about this stuff. I’m not so much into small talk as like really diving into people’s spiritual beliefs and practices.

Uh, this week I was inspired because I was listening to a podcast about the scriptures and they were talking about miracles and how in the Old Testament there were some pretty big. pretty obvious miracles like parting the Red Sea, water coming out of a rock, Isaac being born when his mother was super old and Isaac being spared at the last second, Joseph being saved and ending up in the Pharaoh’s court which in turn saved nations of people from starvation, uh, and I have to shout out Joseph and the amazing Technicolor Dream Co.

I am I love that, and I can’t not think, go, go, go, Joseph, anytime I even talk about Joseph in Egypt. Um, or there was a story of the little bits of meal and oil that did not fail for the widow and her son. There’s really too many miracles to name. And the phrase we often use, or people use, is we talk about the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

These people had big promises made to them about their families, and they saw miracles in their lives. and miracles that have come after they have died. In the New Testament, we know that there are many miracles performed. There were sight given to the blind, the lame made to walk, and even the dead raised back to life.

When you think about these miracles, what comes up for you? Do you believe that they really happened? Or are some of them symbolic or maybe embellished? Do you think that miracles have ceased and they don’t happen anymore? Or if they do, they don’t happen to you. You didn’t get your miracle, your warning, your happy ending.

I see a lot of people who have experienced loss who then also have other challenges piled on at the same time. The saying when it rains it pours could not be truer for them. None of it seems fair and it definitely doesn’t feel like you are receiving miracles. Or maybe you feel that you’re being punished or picked on wherever you are.

I just want you to check in with yourself. Do you believe in miracles? Do you see them in your life? What do you think qualifies someone for a miracle? I think this is a really, really interesting question to just ponder, maybe journal about it. Do we have to qualify for a miracle? It’s kind of that same question, like why do some people get them and others don’t?

Because sometimes what happens is we do believe in miracles in general, but we think they are very rare and they only happen for other people. How does that feel though? If you’ve been here a while, you know that I believe our thoughts create our feelings. Our feelings drive how we show up in the world and these actions create our results.

So when I think that God doesn’t perform miracles for me, it can feel pretty heavy and lonely. I stop praying or being sincere in my prayers. My faith becomes based on what I see. I disconnect from God. I compare and despair, and then I stop seeing miracles in my life. Now, I never want you to blame yourself if you’re kind of in this dark space.

We all go thhrough shadowy valleys in our lives, and I believe that there are supposed to be times when God feels far away. We wouldn’t appreciate feeling Him close if we never had to walk alone. You’re not doing anything wrong. Your faith is good enough. It’s strong enough. It’s just hard sometimes. So let’s talk about miracles.

How do you define them? Do they need to be big and, like, supernatural to qualify as a miracle? The dictionary says, A miracle is a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.

It was really interesting to look through many definitions of a miracle, which were slightly different from each other. But they often use this word, inexplicable, which just means we can’t explain it. It doesn’t make sense to us. We don’t know what happened. And many cynics will say, well, there’s always an explanation.

When a news story comes on that many are calling miraculous, In the comments, there will always be someone who will say they can explain it, therefore it’s not a miracle. I feel sad for those people who refuse to believe that there is magic in this world. That there are things that are beyond our explanation that come from God, or the universe, or however you want to say it, but something higher than us.

Why do you think people do this? Why are they cynical? Why do they feel the need to say, that’s not a miracle? Why do you do it in your life? And where do you doubt the most? The other part of this definition that I want to talk about is that the miracle is surprising and welcome. I have to say that sometimes we aren’t very welcoming to our miracles because they don’t seem like miracles in the moment.

I have always believed this, but I guess somebody, somehow it has a name now. Burnt Toast Theory. I don’t know if you’ve heard about it, but it’s just basically the belief that sometimes what looks like an inconvenience is actually saving your life or making something good happen. Like if you burn your toast, you end up having to make another set of toast and that three to five minute time difference makes you avoid something bad happening in your life or helps you run into something good in your life.

Of course, we don’t often see the result right away, but I choose to believe that this happens all the time. It’s a lot more fun than the alternative, and it helps me stay calm. This used to happen a lot when we had tiny kids. We would be visiting family, get on the road, and realize a favorite blanket got left behind, or a favorite toy, have to turn around and go back.

Instead of being mad, If I chose to see it as a little miracle, it was a lot easier. So does God perform miracles? If he does, why do some people get the happy kind and others of us get the kind that aren’t so obvious? When you hear a story of a mom getting a feeling that something is off, rushing to the hospital, and her baby being saved, do you wonder, why her?

Why that baby? Why not me? Often the answer our brains come up with is some version of God doesn’t love me. God doesn’t bless me. I’m not worthy, I messed up, or he’s not kind, he messed up. This world is full of suffering, it’s not fair that a loving God would give some people miracles and not others. This is normal and people have been mulling over these questions for all of time.

But if you feel terrible when you think this way, you always have alternatives. Even in the deepest of grief, you do, you still get to choose how you think. I’m going to share a few personal stories and, like, my testimony with you. I want you to listen and open up to any whispers you hear, and feelings you feel, and any insights that come to your mind.

It may be immediate. It may be later. But I believe that God wants to talk to you. He wants to bless you. He wants you to see miracles every day. He loves you. Some miracles are obvious right away and some take time. And some we might not see until the other side. There’s just no wrong way. But be open. Be okay with not seeing everything.

Trust. And I know that’s easier said than done when you feel like God broke his trust with you. In these moments, that’s when you need to lean on your foundation, your beliefs, or even your desire to believe. I think coming to know God, Know his heart. That will help you more than finding the answers to these questions that almost never have a satisfactory answer.

But do you know who God is? Do you have a relationship? That is going to help you.

I Had a lot of things going on the days leading up to Lauren’s stillbirth. Lauren is our daughter. She would be turning 11 soon and she was stillborn after a perfectly normal pregnancy, just a few days before her due date. Now, the day before I found out she had passed, we were going hiking. We went on this bumpy drive, four wheel drive road in Moab, Utah.

Which is amazing. I think everyone should visit there. We were like just busy, busy, busy, and we had a lot of things that I’m not going to go into all of them, all the details. Um, you can listen to my episode about Lauren’s birth story. I think I Talk about it all there, but basically we had all these things that happened all these little micro choices All these choices that other people made all these things like my doctor had moved my appointment to Thursday What it would have been on Tuesday and Tuesday was the day she probably died like there were all these little things and Of course, when she died, my brain immediately went to blaming myself, figuring, like, what happened?

How did this happen? Why did I do this? Um, and so it felt like we had messed up. And then I started to think, what if we did everything right? Instead of thinking we did everything wrong and other people made not good choices, what if everything went right? And I don’t know why it’s not because like, I had any, you know, I don’t, this just came to me really early on, probably a couple weeks in to, um, living life after she had died.

And I was able to just hold on tight to it. I chose to stop blaming myself and wondering and questioning and just say, what if everything went right? And. What if That was kind of a series of tiny miracles rather than a series of unfortunate events, because when I believed that way, I felt so much better.

I felt so much more grounded. I felt so much more cared for. I felt really aligned with. My purpose and Lauren’s purpose. I thought Lauren’s purpose was to come and be our fifth daughter and get to hang out and grow up and live on the earth. But maybe I was wrong about that. When I believe like all along that her path was meant to be short and my path was meant to be a mother who buried her child and then got to live without her for a while.

It felt so much better and I could see all the miracles and all the ways that I was not given the opportunity to save her because I would have, but I wasn’t given that opportunity almost as a gift. The gift and the miracle was everything cascaded little bit by little bit in order for her to pass through this life the way that she was meant to.

And so I choose to believe that that is a miracle in my life. It’s not the miracle I would have hoped of, it’s not a miracle like most people wouldn’t say, having your daughter be stillborn, um, right at the last minute, not a miracle. But I, when I look at that time, when I look at those few days before, during, and after she died, there are miracles everywhere.

Tiny little things that I know are not coincidence. That happened to me and for me. So, that has been a huge builder of my testimony. Of just saying, God’s ways are higher than my ways. I probably knew about this plan before I came to Earth. I forgot about it and I planned differently. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t a miracle.

And that Lauren’s life isn’t a miracle. That’s something I really want you to understand as you’re listening. Sometimes when we talk about miracle babies, it’s like the ones that make it, the ones who live through all the odds. But I think every child is a miracle, and your child, your children, are all miracles.

They truly are. Another little miracle that I have experienced was just, well, a lot of times how I feel like the Spirit speaks to me, how God speaks to me, is through my thoughts. And so I’ve practiced a lot and I know I can get much, much better, but I’ve practiced a lot listening and acting on thoughts.

And so I was just taking, I was like picking up a pair of glasses for my son and I, it was right near this hospital and my friend, um, Um, had had her, a family member in there who had been really ill. And so I, I was like, I need to text her and check on her. And I texted her and found out that this person had just passed away.

And so I was able to kind of like run over to her house, give her a little hug, um, before she went off to do some things for, you know, all the details that come after someone passes. Um. But I know that that little thought came from God, 100%. I know that God cared about my friend and was giving me the opportunity to comfort her for him because he can’t go over and give her a hug.

And he can’t maybe directly by phone say, Hey, you matter and I’m thinking about you and I care about you in this really tough time. But I could be that vessel. And so I think that’s something I’ve cultivated and that’s something I’ve worked at. But also it is, it’s unexplainable that I would have the thought to text someone right exactly when they needed it.

There was another time where I had a thought, I need to stop by and visit this person. Um, we had a lady in our neighborhood who was, was caring for her mother, um, who was very near to passing and I had been busy. I was running around. I’d had a really long day and all I want to do is go home. But I had this thought, you need to go visit this family.

And I was able to answer that voice and I was able to go to their home and visit with them and be with them and, you know, kind of say goodbye to this sweet lady and woke up in the morning to find out that she had passed away. And so I was so grateful and there’s probably a lot of times where I didn’t answer those promptings and I didn’t do it.

Um. And I can love myself for that. We all have those, those experiences too, where it’s like, I didn’t follow through on that, but I think when we do follow through, we will see more miracles in our lives. And we all have that again, wherever you are in your faith journey, whatever your beliefs are, wherever you think those voices come from.

A lot of times there’s that thought, is it me? Is it God? Is it, you know, the universe? Is it just, you know, where is this coming from? I don’t think it matters. Just. If it’s a good thing, do it. Uh, recently, just like a really small one. I love the small miracles because I think those are the ones that we really, they can be so powerful.

But I, I coach, I help coach in another coach’s membership program and I answer questions that people submit and this person had a question, and it kind of triggered this thought of part of a Brene Brown quote, and I was like, Oh, I need to get this phrasing right. I want to use the right phrase that Brene Brown uses as I answer her.

As I went to go look this up, I saw kind of this whole quote, which was almost like a short paragraph long and normally, um, when I’m coaching people, I’m more like wanting to tap into their inner wisdom to just ask questions so that they can figure things out on their own. But I was in my head. I was like, Oh, this quote is too good.

Like, I have to give this quote. It like perfectly answers her question. And so I copied and pasted this quote. As I answered this lady, and then she came back, um, a couple days later, and was like, You couldn’t have known this, but Brene Brown is like, everyone who I want to be, she’s my model, I love her.

This quote couldn’t have been more perfect. Um, and I just thought, of course. Right? Of course, it’s the perfect quote for her. Of course, I’m so glad I listened to that part of me that said, give her the whole quote. Just put it in there, even though we normally never do that. But that is a miracle. God wanted her to hear those words and it had to go through Me and it and it’s you know, someone else’s words and inspiration that she put together And I was just able to share that through me to her and it’s such a beautiful chain And I think those ripple effects are so magical and that’s why I think it’s so important to say I believe in miracles Like I really honestly truly do because when we believe in miracles when we share miracles big and small We’re only like, I don’t know how you want to say it.

I want to say like raising the vibration of everyone around you and everyone who hears you and even in this day of social media and stuff. It’s like these ripples of goodness can go so far and it’s so awesome. I love it. Okay. I am going to give you one last example of a miracle that really, um. Again, as an example of when things are really hard, we don’t always get to see the miracle, but sometimes we do.

And my, my last rainbow baby, I had preeclampsia. At about 32 ish weeks, things got a little Touch and go. And so, I ended up staying in the hospital and I was in the hospital, I don’t even know the time. It seemed like forever, but I think it was like 10 days. Anyways, with this goal to get to 34 weeks, so, so I’d been like Doing tons of non stress tests, taking medication, trying to get everything under control, doing steroids for the baby, like, a lot of things.

I’d been trying to be so healthy, and then I get diagnosed with preeclampsia. They told me to quit doing everything, kind of be on bed rest, sort of. But it was just a really hard, stressful time. And I’d already been through a stillbirth, um, a traumatizing miscarriage and just wanted this baby to get here safely.

And long story short, we ended up making it to 35 weeks as we delivered the baby. Um, and after we delivered the baby, which again was also like a really difficult, um, hard situation the doctor told us that he found a really large blood clot on the back of the placenta and because I had had a placental abruption before and because I had some other, um, issues with bleeding, I recognized That that blood clot could have kept growing that blood clot could have broken off and what happened to Lauren Could have happened to our little rainbow, baby But because I had preeclampsia I had so many checkups I was really aware because of all that I’d been through I was Advocating my butt off for this child and for myself and I I had just amazing care and we were able to get him out safely.

And I honestly can say that I think the preeclampsia was the miracle that gave me the chance to raise this little boy in this life. And as I record this, he is six and a half. He is adorable. He’s like such a light in our lives and I wouldn’t trade. That really hard thing for the miracle that he is and for the miracles that got us here, even if the miracle was really, really hard.

And I don’t know for sure what would have happened. Of course I don’t. But I choose to believe that preeclampsia was a miracle for me. In preeclampsia was the way that my son got here safely, even if it was a bumpy road. So, I just want to end by sharing that I believe that God wants to bless us. I believe that His ways are higher than ours, and miracles have not ceased.

But in the noise and the busyness of our lives, we have to pay attention or we’ll miss them. I think it’s so important to look for them on purpose, to be scanning all the time for miracles. Our brain is set to a negativity bias. It’s always looking for problems. But what if we redirect it to look for the miracles and this is different than just being grateful and I would encourage you to do this over the next week or this month or even this year as you set your intentions and just say there are miracles everywhere.

There are no coincidences. Going through my losses and opening up to all the miracles has changed my life for the better. You always get to choose what you believe. Just check in with yourself and see how it makes you feel. I believe in miracles. I believe in a god of miracles and I believe that miracles are not rare.

They are everywhere, and I want to live true to this because this resonates with me. This helps me be a better version of myself, and this helps me as I look forward to a day when I will get to hold my babies in my arms. And so as I end, I just want to send you my love. And if you’re wondering, and you’re doubting, and you’re in a complicated relationship with God or the universe right now, and you have a lot of questions, I just want to encourage you.

to look at what you’re asking, how you’re asking, and what answers you really need. What if you just let go of some of those questions and leaned into your faith and trust and believed that all of this is happening for you, not to you, even when it seems impossible to understand. That’s okay.

Look for the miracles. I love you and I’ll see you next time.