Guys, I’m a country girl at heart. I grew up on the plains of Alberta and loved the deep farming roots in my family. The only radio station in town was Country. I loved it then, I still love it now. I was listening to a song recently and it reminded me so much of what we do in coaching that I had to share.
The song is called “What Ifs” by Kane Brown featuring Lauren Alaina. I’m pretty sure you guys have heard this song. If you haven’t,check it out, it’s a great song, take a couple of minutes to enjoy it.
It starts with Kane singing about all the fears Lauren has.
This girl is scared. Her brain is offering her everything to convince her that love isn’t worth the risk. It wants her to stay in her safe, warm cave and not venture out into the unknown.
We are very, very good at this. Especially us girls, right? We somehow think if we worry enough we will protect ourselves from pain.
But look at what she might be missing out on! Kane sings the chorus, where he’s looking at THE EXACT SAME CIRCUMSTANCE and he has such different thoughts about it!
He is telling her instead of her nightmares coming true, she could believe that her dreams were coming true. That everything would work out perfectly, that he could be the love of her life, that he would take care of her forever.
The song goes on with worst case scenarios and her fears, his reassurance and then there’s the most important part:
If they don’t try, they won’t know.
This is life, friends. This is how our brains work. We seek to protect ourselves from the worst, and we possibly miss out on the best. What are your What Ifs?
What if we try again and it doesn’t work.
What if we lose another baby.
What if I lose my husband?
What if I lose another child?
What if my rainbow baby stops breathing?
What if I’m not good enough?
What if I’m failing as a mother?
What if I fail?
What if I am rejected?
What if people think badly of me?
I could go on forever. But the point is…these thoughts are not actually protecting you. These thoughts are hurting you now. Instead of trying, you are failing ahead of time.
We all know the quote: “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
What if you could find another thought to replace your fears? And I’m not talking about positive clichés that are not going to be believable to you.
I’m talking about even taking a tiny step towards believing that everything is going to be ok.
Because then you get your power back. You aren’t at the mercy of your circumstances, you can see that how you feel is going to be a choice.
So, what if?
What if you try again and it works!
What if you get a beautiful rainbow baby?
What if everybody is fine?
What if you can handle whatever life throws at you?
What if you are the perfect mother for your children?
What if you fail, and it’s ok?
What if you just keep going anyway?
What if you open up to love?
I know this kind of thought work takes practice. I want you to start by simply noticing your thoughts. Look at them. Write them down. See how they affect your life now. See how they can hold you back. Remember, courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s feeling the fear and still taking a step forward.
Can you believe it? I do. I love the message in this song. I love how clearly it shows that we can truly choose what we think. You are strong. You are worthy.
What if you decide to today to take that first step?