Have you ever been so frustrated searching for something you’ve lost? It could be your keys or your phone or anything you need and can’t find. Recently I was looking for something and it was nowhere to be found. I realized there a simple but profound lesson for all of us, listen in today to hear what it is. It just might shift the way you search for the things you really want in your life.
I’m Amy and I’m a life after miscarriage, Stillbirth and babyloss coach!
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Welcome. I am really excited today. I sent some of my living kids back to school and it’s an exciting time of year, but I also know it can be a really hard time of year when you’re a lost mom. Just. Realizing what grade your baby would’ve been in, or seeing all these smiling faces and wishing that you didn’t have some faces missing from your pictures.
And I want you to know that it’s okay to be sad at back to school time, and it’s okay to be excited at back to school time. But whatever you’re feeling, let yourself feel it. Give yourself some space. Take really good care of yourself. Uh, but if you’re really struggling and you need some help, I gotta tell you, I am now getting back into a schedule and I’m gonna be enrolling new clients for fall.
This is a wonderful time to reset and to really find yourself, and that’s what I do in my three month program. I take where you are and we see what you really want to do and your goals and the things you’re struggling with, and then I will walk you through each week learning tools to be able to get what you want.
And it is a beautiful process. Some of my clients have just, I mean, they make so much progress in just a few months. So if you’ve been thinking about coaching, now is a great time to do it. All you need to do is go in the show notes and sign up for a connection call. Or go to smooth Stones coaching.com.
You can do it there too. But I would really like to work with you. I’ve got some exciting things coming up, so you’ll wanna come and talk to me or come and sign up for my email list on my website where you will find out everything I’m doing first. So that’s what’s coming up next. Today I have a really simple story that came from my life.
I love it. I love having a podcast cuz anytime something happens, I think, oh, I need to tell my friends on my podcast about this and how it can affect their life. So you’re gonna wanna keep listening because even though this is a really simple story, It’s actually really profound and such a good example for all of us.
So I gotta tell you lately, I don’t know about you, but again, it’s been the end of summer, things got a little crazy. My husband was really busy at work, so I was kind of solo parenting and we were losing stuff left and right. And the other day I needed my sewing machine. We had. This inflatable Santa blowup thing that for some reason wasn’t working last year.
And so we were testing it out because I was cleaning up my storage room and. It just would not inflate well. We finally realized there’s this huge rip in the bottom that was in a really hard spot to see, but I was really excited because I thought I could totally sew this up. It was a straight seam. It was so easy.
So I sent my children, I. Or one of my children down to grab my sewing machine, which has usually been in my office. So it’s my office slash sewing room slash angel baby supply closet, right where I’m recording this podcast. And they went to go look for it and of course, can’t find it. It’s not there. And I say it has to be there.
It exists. It is a, you know, a substantial size sewing machine and it’s always been there. You need to go look again. So I tell them to go look again. They go, look, they can’t find it. I say, did you check here? Yes, I checked there. Did you check here? Yes. I’m like, it has to be somewhere. It can’t be gone in there.
They just kept telling me it’s not there. I’ve looked everywhere. It’s not there. I’m never gonna find it. And so I go into mom mode, which they love, and I’m telling them it has to be somewhere. It’s not gone, it didn’t like evaporate into thin air. The sewing machine is for sure somewhere, but in their mind they have all these thoughts that are telling them it’s impossible.
Right. And I, I’m guessing that some of you may have been in this situation maybe with your family, your spouse, your your parents, um, where. They’ve just given up, right? So when I send my kids to find something and they can’t find it the first try, they’ve just immediately figure, this is an impossible task that Mom is asking me.
Why does she keep bugging me about it? It’s not gonna happen. And of course I wanna encourage them and just say, Think, take a minute. Think about it. Where could it be? Did you, you know, again, suggesting all these different places that it might be, so whatever it is, in this case, the sewing machine, but lots of times it’s their backpack, they’re a water bottle, you know, the mail, keys, any of those things.
So I of course, end up having to go and look and. I go into it knowing this sewing machine has to be somewhere and I am a little bit more methodical and I try to use like methodical ways to check the places that I think the sewing machine would be. So I go into my office, into my closet, and yes, they were right.
It wasn’t there. It wasn’t there. I had recently cleaned out my closet and so it was very easy to see. It was not there. So I kept looking though and I said, where could this be? So I looked in my daughter’s room, cuz she’s been sewing costumes lately. It wasn’t there. Her room was a little less organized, so I had to search under some piles.
It wasn’t there. Finally, I was just walking around and thinking and trying to open my mind to where else could this be? And I realized. Oh, when I cleaned out my closet, I had moved it to a different closet that I had cleaned out. I’ve been on kind of a decluttering kick, but I had cleaned out this closet and made some room, and so I was able to put my sewing machine in there so that my closet in my office was more organized.
And as soon as I thought of it, I went and looked and there it was. The moral of this story really is that mindset, and it’s so clear when we think about looking for something that’s lost because we’ve all been in this situation before and maybe you’ve been the one that felt like it was impossible, or maybe you’ve been trying to encourage a person to find their stuff.
Um, but we all understand what this is like and what happens and what the thought process is. R And so what I want you to apply this to is any goal that you have and anything you’re searching for. Maybe it’s more peace, maybe it’s healing, maybe it’s, you know, moving forward and or having another baby.
Maybe it’s getting on the same page with your spouse or your partner. Whatever your goal is, whatever result you want, the mindset we go into that search with is the key to all of it, right? So here are some of the thoughts that in this story my kids have or that we might have as we’re searching for something.
So think about the things you are searching for. Some of these thoughts are, I’ve tried everything. I should just give up. This is never gonna work. Everyone is criticizing me, right? This comes from me kind of trying to guide them. They take that as like I am being mean to them. And sometimes we do that too, right?
People will offer suggestions and we just hate it. People don’t understand and the energy of this kind of search is this rush and it’s a pressure and it’s. It can start to feel hopeless, right? Depending where you are, how long you’ve searched. Like I have a friend who lost her wedding ring for like two years, and she thought it was gone, like they bought a new one.
Everything. She thought it was gone. A couple of years later, she found it and it was like, oh my gosh. It was right here. It was in one of her cupboards. She had taken it off to do dishes or something. It was right there all along, but she had had given up and, and the energy was this frantic, oh my goodness, I lost my wedding ring, you know?
Notice places in your life where you are feeling this rush, this pressure, this hopelessness that you are never going to find the thing you’re looking for. Right? And, and I want to show you that that is okay. You can have compassion. It can be frustrating, right? You, you can feel like you’ve tried everything and that there’s no path forward.
But that’s not true. So have a lot of love for yourself if you’re feeling that way. But I want you to replace your thoughts with some thoughts like these. I won’t stop until I succeed. I know it’s out there. And the flip side of that is I know it’s somewhere, right? This is what I tell my kids over and over when they keep telling me, I just can’t find it.
It it’s nowhere. And I keep saying it is somewhere. We just have to find it. Another thought you can use is, I will make this happen. Instead of feeling like, this is never gonna happen to me, this is never gonna happen for me. Put it back on yourself. Say, I’m gonna make this happen. I’m gonna reach this goal no matter what.
People are there to help me. There is guidance. Another thought is there is a guide for me. And that’s what I would like to be for you. If you are searching for something and you found this podcast and you’re not sure what the next step is, like you’re loving what you’re learning, you’re loving these coaching concepts, you’re, you are self-coaching, you’re doing models, you’re taking care of, you’re nervous system.
You’re, you’re doing all the things, but you’re still not where you wanna be. You still haven’t found what you want. I would love to be that guide for you. I would love to show you and believe and help you trust that what you want is available. You just have to look in the right place, and that right place could be coaching for you, and I want you to notice the energy.
That is different. When you start believing that the thing is not out of your reach, that you can find it, and that you’re not gonna give up till you get it. There is this calm energy, there is this hopeful energy, right? And this is what I try to be for my children. It doesn’t always work perfectly when they have lost an important item.
I try to say for sure we’re gonna find it. For sure it’s somewhere. We just gotta take a breath. We gotta think. We gotta open up our minds. We gotta stand in the shower and let that water hit our crown chakras and, and have it come to us. This is what I need to do. This is where it is, right. We need to let people help us cuz it’s a lot easier to search when we have someone behind us.
Doing it with us. And so that’s my message today is to think about something you’ve been searching for and don’t stop looking until you find it. Your attitude matters. The thing is there, but you can look for it frantically. Hopelessly frustrated and just believe all these things, like, I’ve tried everything and nothing’s going to work.
Or you can shift that energy by shifting your thoughts, shift it to calm, shift it to hopeful, shift it to believing and seeking and searching, and promise yourself you’re not gonna give up until you succeed what you want. Is right in front of you. It’s waiting for you. You just need to find it. Do not give up.
And if this is really resonating with you again, come talk to me. Come to a connection call. I will help you find what you want faster than you could do it yourself. I am here. I am your guide. I love you and I care about what you want. And I’m gonna show you the way. You don’t have to struggle searching through all these piles of papers and backs of closets anymore, right?
You want peace, you want healing, you wanna do big things. I’m here for you. I’ll see you next time. Are you tired of feeling like your baby’s death was somehow your fault? Go to Stones coaching com and get my free mini course. How to Stop Blaming Yourself After Loss.