Welcome! I’m so glad you are here.
Usually on this blog we will be learning tools to build the life you want to live. But today, I’m going to tell you a story.
One pretty March day, as the sun was beginning to warm the earth again after a long winter, a baby girl was born. She never opened her eyes. She never took a breath of air.
She was perfect, but she didn’t get to stay.
Six weeks later, in a search for any kind of comfort and strength to go on, I attended Brigham Young University Women’s Conference. Every year women gather to learn, serve, and be uplifted. There are speakers on many subjects. I chose all the classes on trials. On hard things. On grief. And on living again after challenges. Every one was amazing. The women who spoke were inspiring, the things they had been through and the lives they had created even in the face of adversity showed me what I could be, even in that tender, shocked, grief-clouded state I was in.
I looked back through my notes for that time and could not find who had shared this analogy in one of the classes. But I remember it so distinctly. I will tell it in my own way:
Grief is like a rock in your shoe that you can never get out. At first the rock is sharp and pointed. Every second of every day it is cutting into you. It hurts in a way you could never have imagined. You can barely breathe, let alone walk. You hate the rock, you want it to go away. And yet you love the rock, because it is a constant reminder of who you have lost. You can’t even envision a life where this hurt goes away.
After a while, the sharp corners start to break off. Your foot begins to toughen up, you find ways to walk with the stone there. But very often it hits a tender place. Very often it stops you. Very often the pain causes the tears to spill over for even the smallest thing. But you are determined and keep moving forward.
Later the rock becomes smooth. The foot becomes strong. You learn where to position the rock so that it is no longer painful. You can feel it but it is only a reminder of love. Sure, every once in a while, it hits a nerve, but you allow the pain and keep walking. You carry the rock with you always, knowing that it has directed your path in a way you never thought possible. In a way you wouldn’t change because it has made you who you are today.
That’s why I chose the name Smooth Stones. Because you have been through things, you have said goodbye to precious little ones, to dreams and hopes and futures that didn’t come true. But you also are tough. You have big things to contribute to this world. You have the same everyday challenges as all other humans on Earth.
You want to succeed, you want to stop procrastinating. You want to feel better about your relationships, you want to truly let go of the thoughts that are holding you back.
You want to learn to love yourself.
I think there’s a reason you found this work. I’m ready to walk with you and show you the way to what you’ve been looking for. You coming?