Last time we talked about indulgent emotions. Worry is one of them.
Today we are talking about overwhelm.
This seems to be a favorite emotion for many of us. We lead busy lives with kids, jobs, activities, businesses, large homes full of things, and lots of people who need us, on top of the grief we carry.
We have goals, large and small, but life happens.
It’s easy to look at everything on our to-do list and all the thoughts swirling around in our head and just want to be overwhelmed with it all.
What does overwhelm look like for you?
This emotion is indulgent because it’s like we are spoiling ourselves. When we are overwhelmed we blame our feelings on the above mentioned tasks to complete.
But those tasks are neutral. Putting this into a model is really powerful.
The first step is always separating the facts from the story.
A lot of us love to have this victim story where we HAVE to do all these things. But I want you to step back for a second. Pause.
What do you actually have to do?
The truth is, we don’t have to do anything. We could leave our jobs, our families, all our responsibilities and run away.
But I’m guessing that’s not what you WANT to do. Just the simple switch of seeing that you have a choice in everything you do is a game changer. It focuses your mind to take back power and stop blaming your overwhelm on everything outside of you.
Once we have our circumstances neutral and factual, we can move forward in our model.
Let’s use the example of kids being home from school for the summer. We look so forward to it in the end of the year craziness, and then when it gets here it’s they are bored and they eat all the time and they are so messy and I am driving everyone to everything all day and sports and going on a vacation and keeping up on summer reading and they just want to sleep in and there is yard work and we always need sunscreen and no one can find their shoes and I should be doing a bucket list and keeping them busy but I am still catching up on the laundry from our camping trip. I should make a schedule and a meal plan and get organized! There’s too much to do…..it’s overwhelming!
What do we actually have to do? And what are your reasons? A lot of the time we are trying to create an emotion, or do what we think we should do to be a good mom.
Our Circumstance can be just : Summer break
What are the thoughts? Just pick one: There’s too much to do
Feeling: overwhelm
Action. How do you show up when you are overwhelmed? Not finishing things, not planning, indulging in the overwhelm, yell at kids, eat parade candy, victim mentality
And what result does that create? You don’t get things done, and you are not the mom you want to be.
This result means you let all the circumstances control your experience. But the best news is, you don’t have to!
The way to get out of overwhelm is to see how it really doesn’t help you at all. This emotion never serves you. Now, when it comes up, it’s ok to allow it for a while, if you do it intentionally, and you are aware that it is coming from your thoughts, not your to do list.
What if you came from love? Love for yourself especially. That emotion is going to help us make choices of how we spend our time and mental energy so much better.
Or you could choose determination, to keep working towards a goal and not get stuck in the overwhelm.
So on those days when life seems to be swirling around you, pause. Remember that you get to choose what you need to do. And there are seasons where there are more things, and that’s ok.
But you don’t need to be overwhelmed. Because you’ve got this, girl. You really do.
But if you feel like you need a little help, I’m here for you. Just click here!
